Zezanje [ARHIVA]
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Re: Zezanje
Sin pita majku:
Mama, zašto su venčanice bele?
Majka mu odgovara:
Venčanica pokazuje tvojim prijateljima i rodbini da je tvoja mlada čedna.
Sin pita isto pitanje i tatu (za svaki slučaj):
Tata, zašto su venčanice bele?
Tata mu odgovara:
- Zato jer su svi kućni aparati BELI.Ko je viknuo "šta vidis ČičA"???
Sreća je sto glupost ne boli, inače bi sa svih strana odjekivali jauci
"Ulažite u stomak! To ulaganje daje brze i vidljive rezultate. Ulaganje u glavu je dugotrajno i neizvesno. " D. Radovic
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Re: Zezanje
izasao lik na terasu da popusi dzoint.
povuce on dim, kad preko neba prelete vatrena lopta i nestade iza horizonta.
pomisli on: - ma nema sanse, cek da probam jos jednom.
ponovo se desi isto.
- e ako se i treci put desi ovo je nesto najludje sto mi se ikad desilo, pomisli on i povuce jos jednom.
ponovo vatrena lopta preleti iznad njega i nestade iza brda.
- alo, brate, zove on cimera. dodji, moras da probas ovo!!!
"gde si ti nestao?"
- pa znas, bio sam na terasi i duvao kad...
"TRI DANA???".
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Re: Zezanje
kad bi muškarci pisali Cosmopolitan)) :
Q:My husband wants a threesome with my best friend and me.
A: Obviously your husband cannot get enough of you! Knowing that there is only one of you he can only settle for the next best thing your best friend. Far from being an issue, this can bring you closer together. Why not get some of your old collage roommates involved too? If you are still apprehensive, maybe you should let him be with your friends without you. If you're still not sure then just perform oral sex on him and cook him a nice meal while you think about it.
Q: My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex on him.
A: Do it. Semen can help you lose weight and gives a great glow to your skin. Interestingly, men know this. His offer to allow you to perform oral sex on him is totally selfless. This shows he loves you. The best thing to do is to thank him by performing it twice a day; then cook him a nice meal.
Q: My husband has too many nights out with the boys.
A: This is perfectly natural behaviour and it should be encouraged. The Man is a hunter and he needs to prove his prowess with other men. A night out chasing young single girls is a great stress relief and can foster a more peaceful and relaxing home. Remember, nothing can rekindle your relationship better than the man being away for a day or two (it's a great time to clean the house too)! Just look at how emotional and happy he is when he returns to his stable home. The best thing to do when he gets home is for you and your best friend to perform oral sex on him. Then cook him a nice meal.
Q: My husband doesn't know where my clitoris is.
A: Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If you must mess with it, do it in your own time or ask your best friend to help. You may wish to videotape yourself while doing this, and present it to your husband as a birthday gift. To ease your selfish guilt, perform oral sex on him and cook him a delicious meal.
Q: My husband is uninterested in foreplay.
A: You are a bad person for bringing it up and should seek sensitivity training. Foreplay to a man is very stressful and time consuming. Sex should be available to your husband on demand with no pesky requests for foreplay. What this means is that you do not love your man as much as you should; He should never have to work to get you in the mood. Stop being so selfish! Perhaps you can make it up to him by performing oral sex on him and cooking him a nice meal.
Q: My husband always has an orgasm then rolls over and goes to sleep without giving me one.
A: I'm not sure I understand the problem. Perhaps you've forgotten to cook him a nice meal.Kada se glupost toliko namnoži, čitava društvena zajednica postaje jedan veliki debil.
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Re: Zezanje
ako pokusate malim slovima, dobija se totalno drugi rezultatKada se glupost toliko namnoži, čitava društvena zajednica postaje jedan veliki debil.
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Re: Zezanje
FB
Vec dugo lajkujem jednu malu..Ima dugacke statuse,kratku pamet,caroban profil i zgodnu sliku.Primetio sam da ni ona nije ravnodusna.Vrlo cesto mi kaze kako voli moj dugacki.. spisak prijatelja, ili kako mi je dobar najnoviji link...
I izasli smo par puta..Na Chat..Znate,to vam je ono mesto,desno od profil slike,prekoputa aplikacija..Moram priznati da sam bio odusevljen..Istina,pricamo razlicitim jezicima,ali ljubav ne poznaje barijere..Poceo sam da ucim..U pocetku su mi tesko isli nepravilni glagoli BTW,WTF,OMG...ali zato briljiram sa LOL,BWE i XEXE..Vremenom je i ona mene pocela da lajkuje...Jednom smo cak izasli i na MSN..Tamo je mirno i tiho,i mogli smo pricati bez bojazni da nam neko gleda profile!
Lepo nam je..Izlazimo svako vece,druzimo se,razmenjujemo slike i linkove..
Iskren da budem,razmisljam o svadbi...Zakupicu ceo Chat,svi cete biti pozvani! Svirace nam najbolji muzicari sa Youtube-a,a na meniju ce biti samo specijaliteti i pikanterije:najsveziji proizvodi sa Farmvilla i Fishvilla!!Notifikaciju svog istorijskog "DA" ostavicu na statusu,neka svi vide da sam nasao srecu u zivotu! I ona je obecala isto!
Kupicemo divan stan u Yovillu,a ja cu dobiti dobar posao u Mafia Wars-u,pa cemo imati od cega da zivimo!
Nasi prijatelji dolazice nam u goste redovno,a za njih cemo otvoriti posebnu grupu,da imaju gde da se smeste.
Mrzecemo sve koji nas hejtuju,a lajkovati sve koji nas vole..Zajedno!
Obecavam da cu joj biti veran,da necu lajkovati slicice drugih,i da necu sa drugima izlaziti na Chat...
Decu cemo praviti u Photoshop-u,i ziveti srecno sve dok traje Facebook...ili dok nam ne ukinu profile...Ko je viknuo "šta vidis ČičA"???
Sreća je sto glupost ne boli, inače bi sa svih strana odjekivali jauci
"Ulažite u stomak! To ulaganje daje brze i vidljive rezultate. Ulaganje u glavu je dugotrajno i neizvesno. " D. Radovic
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Re: Zezanje
Originally posted by skylinehttp://translate.google.com/?hl=sr#en|sr|CROATIA
ako pokusate malim slovima, dobija se totalno drugi rezultat
Neko naš se dosađuje na poslu
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Re: Zezanje
Na svadbi, svastika se smara, dosadno devojci, sve sami fosili i neka muzika...
prilazi joj baba, shtipa je za obraz i kaze: "ti si sledeca", uz masan osmeh...
jadna devojka samo dublje utonula u depresiju...
posle nekoliko meseci, srecu se njih dve na sahrani nekog joj ujaka,
prilazi devojka baki, shtipa za obraz i kaze: "ti si sledeca"while(!asleep()) {sheep++;}
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Re: Zezanje
Vjerska tolerancija
Oš'o Mujo kod hodže: -Vara me Fata.
Kaže hodža: -Razvedi se.
Mujo: -Ne mogu, volim je.
Hodža: -Onda se ne razvodi.
Mujo: -Ali stalno mi je to na umu.
Hodža: -Pa, razvedi se.
Mujo: -Ne mogu zbog djece.
Hodža: -Onda se nemoj razvesti
Mujo: -Ali ne mogu da joj oprostim
Hodža: -Promijeni vjeru.
Mujo: -Kako će mi to pomoći?
Hodža: -Neće tebi, nego meni - idi pa malo ********j popa!Kada se glupost toliko namnoži, čitava društvena zajednica postaje jedan veliki debil.
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