Zezanje [ARHIVA]

[rajmax63]

igra žmurke

[Čiča]

Dolazi Mujo kod gatare i ona mu gleda u dlan:

- Mmmm, stoji vam neki put.
- Da, neki put mi stoji, a neki put ne.

[zoranc]

[veljko]

moj razgovor sa igod- om



Me:
b
God:
Do you prefer books or TV?
Me:
sometimes
God:
When?
Me:
yesterday
God:
That recently.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
often
God:
Would you say once a week or more?
Me:
tree
God:
What color are your eyes?
Me:
silver
God:
That is a very unusual color.
Me:
no, why
God:
Are you serious? " That is a very unusual color."? Why?
Me:
yes why
God:
That's interesting. Why ask why?
Me:
why is very unusual
God:
Why do I exist?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
im asking about my colour of eyes
Me:

God:
Are you serious?
Me:
halo
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
no name
God:
That was not a yes or no question. My name is God.
Me:
mine is not god, and no name is my name, really
God:
You mean silver is not god and no name is your name ? That makes sense I guess. For real.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
colour of my eyes
God:
Do you like talking to me?
Me:
silver is colour of may exes
God:
Are they exactly the same?
Me:
why do you ask me that
God:
Just curious. You don't have to answer.
Me:
can you ask me that again
God:
Once more? What?
Me:
you know what
God:
What?
Me:
rhin you are a god
God:
Are all rhin me a god?
Me:
think
God:
I am thinking.
Me:
about what
God:
What about what?
Me:
what about you are thinking
God:
I am thinking? I haven't heard enough about it to have an opinion.
Me:
and why is that so
God:
Why do I exist?
Me:
no, why you dont have an opinion
God:
Are you serious? Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
so what
God:
Maybe it doesn't make any difference.
Me:
what
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
no, you are
God:
Are you serious? No I am not.
Me:
jou dont have any kind of answers
God:
Would jou ever have any kind of answers?
Me:
sometimes
God:
When?
Me:
when i have to go to the wc
God:
Does this happen on a daily basis?
Me:
of course
God:
Next question?
Me:
what kind of question
God:
What kinds of question are there?
Me:
what !!
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
no of course
God:
It goes without saying. Are you serious?
Me:
about what
God:
What about what?
Me:
about what i am have to be serious
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you are have to be serious.
Me:
about what
God:
What about what?
Me:
about what i am have to be serious
God:
Do you mean your name is have to be serious.
Me:

God:
Do you mean your name is have to be serious.
Me:
i think this program is veri high tec
God:
Since when? What does "this" refer to?
Me:
jour colour of eyes
God:
Oh now I see.
Me:
of course
God:
That's interesting.
Me:
why
God:
Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
really, when
God:
For real. It cannot be predicted.
Me:
why is that
God:
" It cannot be predicted. " is due to reductionism.
Me:
is that so
Me:

God:
" It cannot be predicted. " is due to reductionism.
God:
Yes.
Me:
god by
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
why
God:
Because.
Me:
i understand
God:
Do you think about these things?
Me:
sometimes
God:
When?
Me:
tomorrow of course
God:
It goes without saying. That is very soon.
Me:
relly, i didnt know that
God:
In the context of jour color of eyes, I don't understand " relly i did not know that." .
Me:
really i dod not know that
God:
For real. Do you mind if I tell other people: said dod not know that.
Me:
did
God:
That is a very original thought.
Me:
sometimes it is
God:
Oh.
Me:
is that hurt
God:
I might say no.
Me:
why
God:
I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Me:
because you are a program
God:
That makes sense to me. Correct. My mind is completely software.
Me:
bye bye
God:
See you later. See you later!

[rajmax63]

Kineski specijaliteti strašno

[veljko]

ma idi bre , taman grickam neki keks

[tamburski]

Ma tamo nema da vidis ni vrapca na grani sve su bre pojeli

[BOOST]

Zasto je zrno pirinca malo?

Da Kinez misli da se najeo ako pojede 1000 komada

[rajmax63]

[rajmax63]

Mujo i Fata posle polaganja vozačkog.
Fata: Jes' položio bolan?
Mujo: Ma kaki, izjebaše me na samaforu, izjebaše me na punoj crti, izjebaše me kod parkiranja... A ti?
Fata: Položila, izjebaše me u garaži!

[HEMI 426]

Kad vas policija iduci put zaustavi, probajte neke od ovih stvari:

1. Ako policajac prica s tobom, pretvaraj se da si gluh.
2. Pitaj ga mozes li vidjeti njegov pistolj.
3. Ako neda, nego te pita zasto, reci da hoces vidjeti da li je veci
od tvojega.
4. Rukuj se s njim i stalno ga dodiruj.
5. Pitaj ga gdje je dobio takvu ludu odjecu.
6. Pitaj ga da li ti posudi svoj kostim
7. Pitaj ga za ime i prezime i onda ga oslovljavaj samo imenom.
8. Pretvaraj se da si peder i pitaj ga hoce li izaci s tobom.
9. Ako kaze ne, pocni plakati.
10. Ako kaze da, prijavi ga nadredjenima.
11. Ako te hoce pregledati i kaze da moras rasiriti noge, reci mu da
te ne zanima.
12. Reci mu da ti se svidjaju muskarci u uniformi.
13. Potkupi ga slatkisima.
14. Probaj istovremeno s njim reci: "Dobro vecer gospodine, vozacku
i prometnu molim."
15. Ako ti da nesto za potpisati, prvo se pocesi po guzici pa onda
uzmi njegovu olovku u ruku.
16. Ako ti da kemijsku u ruke, skrivaj je, rastavi i izvadi ulozak.
17. Pitaj ga ima li kcerku. Ako da, reci mu da ti je poznato njegovo
prezime.
18. Nek ti sve objasni dvaput.
19. Ponovi potiho sve sto on kaze.
20. Pricaj sam sa sobom.
21. Probaj mu prodati svoj auto.
22. Pitaj ga, hoce li ti prodati svoj auto.
23. Ako te hoce voditi u policijsku postaju, pitaj mozes li ti
sjediti naprijed.
24. Ako moras sjediti straga, probaj ga pipkati po glavi kroz
resetku.
25. Prije nego krenete provjeri jeste li svi vezani.
26. Brzo uzmi limenku piva i otvori prije nego dodje do tvojega
auta.
27. Nek ti pridrzi pivo dok trazis dokumente.
28. Reci mu barem dvaput da prtljaznik ne treba pregledavati.
29. Pitaj ga je li on jedan od Village People i pitaj gdje su
ostali.
30. Pitaj ga je li ikad ubio covjeka.
31. Ako odgovori da, pitaj je li to bilo na poslu.
32. S osmehom na odlasku mu reci: "Pozdravi zenu i moju djecu"

[Pro_Touring_Mopar]

Znaci, najjaci coveri...













"Imam nesto al nedam"

[zoranc]

Štaćeš nemaju

[djukic]

Ove gore mogli bi da prijavimo na onaj Dinkicev telefon da neizdaju racune. Cisto da proverimo da li ce neko da izadje od inspekcije da proveri...

[veljko]

izgleda da nema pdv na skupstinskom racunu